


Tree of Woe

by Uskius



Series: Uskius Talex Fanfic [3]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Action/Adventure, Explicit Language, Explosions, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 16:19:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4398866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uskius/pseuds/Uskius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not happy with all the girly Talex fanfic out there, I decided to write some in my own special style, with lots of action! But, I guess there are some feelings and stuff in here, too. The sequel to Hand of God and the third installment of my Talex stories. In this story, Alex and Tobin are guided by Rick Steves as they race across Europe to try to catch two thieves, and recover objects stolen from a secret vault in The Vatican.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tree of Woe

Tobin didn't notice the time on her watch as she hurried with joggings to catch up to the team. "There you are!" Said Alex, happy to see her friend had found them. "I was afraid you'd miss the flight."

"How could I miss this? It's not every day the Pope invites you to the Vatican for a concert."

"I know! I still can't believe this is happening."

"Did you hear what band is gonna be playing?"

"Yeah, it's this band called Lamb of God. I'd never heard of them before, but I asked Syd and she said they're a metal band."

Tobin had grinnings, from going to see a metal band at the Vatican. The team boarded the plane with many anticipations. Tobin and Alex sat next to each other, and Alex had rememberings of the flight to Pele's estate earlier in the year, and of the hard struggle to keep Diego Maradona from wielding the True Ballon d'Or. She thought of Lionel Messi reappearing, and the scary time when Tobin turned into a tree. But then, Alex had thoughts of the good from those strugglings, like the new forest in the desert, and the team being closer together. The happiness from the forest seemed like the magic of a fairy tale, one that gave Alex good sleeps and helped her stay focused when playing ball. Alex smiled and looked of Tobin's face for a moment, then had a smile in her heart and got out her book.

~oOo~

With the long flights over the wetness of the ocean and the snowiness of the mountains done, the team had arrived in the Vatican. They had great excitements, and finally after waiting it was time. It was a night concert, so the tech people used cool lightings for the stage so everyone could see the band. The beams swept around the square, and Tobin could see the Pope had a nice platform to watch from in the middle of the crowd. The band intro music played, and the crowd cheered. A light came onto their lead singer, Randy, and the crowd had great cheers for him. "Vatican City!" Randy paced around on the stage, and continued speaking. "We got the call, and couldn't believe it. Because who does this? When you play the Vatican, you can't just play another set- you've gotta go hard, all in. And we realized, we didn't have a song for this... special occasion. So we took everything we do- we elevated it, amplified it, deified it! Brand new song, called Tree. Of. Woe!" Immediately there were dark, heavy, staccato chuggings of the guitars at breakneck speed, with pounding drums. After a moment the riff slowed to a headbanging kind of pace, and to great surprisings Randy sang the first few words with nice clean, slithery vocals.

"Step into my garden,  
House of peace and sin  
The reign of death my legacy..."

Tobin looked over at Alex to make sure this was happening. She wasn't of too much metal in her music listening, but could tell this was huge thing. Alex was nodding along with beat, and cheering. The music sped up after the verse, with a fast line of the same note and sharp pull-offs.

"Conquering sign  
Rebellion of flesh against the divine!

Cry out in the darkness  
Dust blown in the wind  
No taste of death comes painlessly!"

Tobin now could accept this was real, barely; in the back of her mind she had wonderings of how these lyrics could be approved by the Pope. The music got fast and chaotic, the guitars speeding up until breaking out into the chords.

"Pain!  
I am the nail,  
Outstretched hands  
I will bind you to the tree of woe  
Rain!  
I am the storm  
Blood-soaked lands  
I will haunt you wherever you go!"

Now moving along with the beat, Tobin noticed one of the guitarists playing a melody as the other carried the verse riff.

"Revel in the carnage  
As the flood rides in  
The crooked step walked shamelessly  
The dearly departed  
Chorus of my sin  
Betraying guilt that's chained to me!"

Conquering sign  
Rebellion of flesh against the divine!

Tobin nearly had to cover her ears for the crowd shout along with the chorus, the square approaching Manowar levels of sound. A guitar solo started after the chorus, beginning with the melody that had been going over the verse, and then speeding up into very acrobatic fingerings. After taking a dark turn the guitars went into a breakdown, with chuggings like a heart beat and then fast pickings of three scary notes. There looked to be a fight near the stage, but then Tobin realized it was a mosh pit. She looked back towards the Pope, and saw him nodding his head. As the breakdown went on Randy picked up the microphone again.

"Withered!  
Sown among the thorns  
No hope for light  
No hope for life  
No hope to make this right!  
I will take  
Redemption in my hands!"

The music settled into the verse riff again, and with lightbulbs Tobin had knowledges of the path of the lyrics, and saw them as a lesson of things.

"Hollowed out and heartless  
Blood sweat, faded grin  
The bitter end now plain to see!

End of the line  
The failure of flesh to meet the divine!

Pain!  
Take up the nail  
Outstretched hands  
I am shattered on the tree of woe  
Rain!  
Left to the storm  
In bloodsoaked lands  
There's nowhere left for me to go!"

With suddenness the beginning guitars played again, and then the song was over. The crowd had great cheerings, with much loudness, very wow. As Tobin clapped and looked up to the stage, she could see a red light floating down from the sky... towards her! And as she was looking, it fell into her eye! Tobin winced with ouchings and rubbed her eye, and then her world faded to black...

Alex looked over at Tobin, and saw her friend became of floating in the air. She wondered of how Tobin would do this, in a place where there were many peoples who would notice. Then she shot a laser beams from her eyes and hit the front of the stage! It burst up with great sparks and fires, and Tobin kept shooting the beam, into the buildings around the square. They explodiated loudly, and the crowd of ten million people began to have fears. Sydney jumped up to pull Tobin down, but she floated away and continued lasering, one even hit the Pope! He scratched his chest and whispered to a guard looking person to his right, pointing at Tobin. A laser beam of Tobin hit a tower far away, making a big explosion so beautiful volcanoes around the world weeped happy tears of lava. At last Sydney jumped up and could pull down Tobin, and Alex and the team hurried away through the crowd...

~oOo~

When Tobin became awake, she was in a big comfy chair in a fancy, secret-looking room. Alex and Coach Tom and the rest of the team were there, and so was Pope Francis. "Are you alright, Tobin?" Asked Coach Tom.

"Yeah, I'm fine. What happened last night?"

"You don't remember?" Asked Alex.

"No, I don't remember anything after the first song ended." Tobin looked around the room at everyone with worryings. "What's going on?"

"Something came over you, and you used your P.S.I. to fire laser beams and lay waste to the square."

"She listens to one secular song..." Tobin heard Hope faintly mutter beside her.

"But I would never do anything like that! Never!"

"Given the people there and the two point four billion watching at home, we are having a hard time containing this," Said Coach Tom. "Thankfully it was dark, and your face isn't clearly visible, but there are still few options from here. Those who know of P.S.I. may finally come forward, and expose you."

"And what would the public knowing about P.S.I. change?" Asked Tobin, with rhetoricalness.

"Everything," Said Pope Francis. "Entire industries would cease to exist, and new ones spring into being; criminals and armies could become unstoppable, but most dangerous of all would be the division over the debate of the source. Nations would fall like sandcastles..."

"Can you remember how you felt before it happened?" Coach Tom asked with concernings.

"This red light thing flew into my eye, and it kinda hurt. That's pretty much it."

Coach Tom sighed, and Pope Francis spoke again. "There is still more to this situation, Miss Heath. The underground vault was breached, and the manuscript of Shocking Swerve was stolen... along with the second." There were many gaspings around the room to hear of this news, and Kelley O'Hara asked,

"When you say the manuscript of Shocking Swerve, do you mean the original one, Your Holiness?"

"Indeed, Miss O'Hara. As I'm sure some of you know and I will admit now, certain sections of Shocking Swerve have been omitted when certain copies were commissioned and made. I do not dictate those omissions, but as I give approval for printing any new copy request, a handful of individuals aware of those facts have become determined to steal the original manuscript and falsely accuse me."

"Who are they?" Asked Kelley, and other team members around the room nodded.

"You are likely to know their names, but alas I cannot reveal their names, as though this room is supposedly private there are numerous bugs hidden in it."

"What about this 'second' you mentioned?" Asked Yael, having a serious look on her face. "I remember that Diego Maradona said something about a second back in Nazca."

Pope Francis glanced at Tobin before answering Yael. "The part of the answer concerning what was stolen from the vault is that the second True Ballon d'Or was taken from it."

"How could there be a second?!" Asked Christie Rampone. "We know what the first was for now, but what on Earth could need a second?"

"The answer to that lies with The Prophet," Answered Pope Francis with sighings. "But what is pre-emminently important is that the True Ballon d'Or be reclaimed and hidden at a new location until needed, as it may lead back to where it came from."

"Lead back to...?" Yael said, but then with immense shockings on her face she gasped and stumbled back into the wall.

"The flights have already been arranged. Miss Heath and one other will meet up with The Traveler, and pursue the thieves."

"Who's The Traveler?" Asked Alex, but Pope Francis only smiled.

~oOo~

It was twelve fifteen in the afternoon, and Rick Steves was drinking the blood of a virgin. "It's so good to meet you all, I've heard great things about the team."

"Thanks; I've wanted to meet you for a while, too." Said Alex.

"Have you gotten a call from the Pope?" Asked Tobin, with getting down to businesses.

"Oh, I heard from him not too long after the incident," Said Rick as he took a sip of his drink. "He seemed convinced Rodman and Kim were in on it, but it's unknown who cracked the vault itself."

"Kim who?" Asked Tobin.

Rick looked at Tobin as if he thought Tobin already knew, but then could see she didn't and said, "Jong Un. Kim Jong Un, and Dennis Rodman. Rodman's Kim's inside man, and knows people who know some people. They managed to cast a net deep across the world of P.S.I. in a short period of time; Rodman brings his connections from his playing days and Jordan, and Kim inherited his father's network. He still harbors a grudge against your coach and the West in general for The Jakarta Incident."

"So they probably had this heist planned in advance, right?"

"That's likely," Rick answered Tobin. "A metal concert in the Vatican? What better cover could there be?"

"So, like what old contacts of Dennis Rodman do you think are in on this?" Alex asked, as the sandwiches arrived and Tobin took a bite of hers.

"Oh, that's a very short list. There's Pippen, Malone, and Russo himself, but I think Russo can be ruled out as no one's seen him in years. After he divined Shocking Swerve he made it very clear anything he had to say on the subject could be found inside it."

Tobin finished her bite with a swallow, and asked, "So do you know where those four are?"

"I'm guessing Malone and Pippen are searching for Russo in the States. As for Rodman and Kim, they should still have a stop or two left on the Royal Ice Tour."

"Royal Ice Tour?" Asked Morgan, taking a bite of her tasty ham sandwich.

"It a goodwill effort by the E.U. and some of the countries in N.A.T.O., an ice skating and sort of town hall series. Quite a few kings and presidents will be in attendance, and I've heard some of them even plan to perform on the ice."

"Then that's where we've got to go," Said Tobin. "Catch up with them at a hotel or somewhere before they can pass the ball to Malone or Pippen."

"That's just what I was thinking," Said Rick with agreeings. "The next stop is in Helsinki tomorrow evening."

"How soon could we be there?" Asked Tobin.

"Getting the plane tickets shouldn't take too long, and I just so happen to know this lovely little inn we could stay at. It's been running since the seventeen hundreds and it's owned by a lovely old couple."

Alex nodded, thinking it would be good to stay at an out of the way inn. "So what did you have in mind once we catch up to them?" Alex asked Tobin.

"Just try to get the True Ballon d'Or and Shocking Swerve as quietly as we can. After what happened in the Vatican we kinda need to keep a low profile." Alex and Rick nodded, and Rick added,

"They're likely to have both in their luggage, but let's focus on the details once we get to Helsinki and know where they're staying."

"Cool." Tobin took a sip of her drink, thinking for a moment of her other teammates, like Yael who only would talk of "protect the forest" after the meeting with the Pope. "...What about Vince Russo?"

"Wherever he is, I'd say he's hidden good enough that we don't need to warn him. And, he'll likely know the situation, as well. The True Ballon d'Or and Shocking Swerve come first." Tobin sort of agreed, but was still worried of the other things as she ate. It was a good cafe type of meal, and Tobin and Alex enjoyed the scenes of Rome around them. Rick left a good tip for the waiter, but as they got up to leave a group of people on black motorcycles drove up! They shouted words in the language of Italy, pointing at Alex and Tobin! The motorcycle people hopped off their bikes and ran towards the cafe, and Rick led Alex and Tobin into the alley. One of the black motorcycle people threw down a bomb of smokiness as they chased into the alley. They were fast, and the group soon caught up to Tobin and Alex. They faced the black clothed motorcycle people, taking up ready stances. The motorcycle people were pros, even able to do parts of the Soulja Boy between their punchings and kickings, using a highly disciplined style originated by Ricardo Montalban in the infamous Himalayan underground fighting leagues.

Tobin used her good Baguazhong defenses to try to confuse the strikings of the motorcycle peeps, and her circle walk did this and was good for grouping them up, too. With a super fast front kick Alex made one fall into the others who'd been grouped up by Tobin's defenses, knocking two of them down. One was still standing, and Tobin and Alex teamed up to do the Exodus Seal, Alex providing the knee to the head and Tobin serving up the elbow to the other side. The motorcycle fighter collapsed under the heavy simultaneous attackings, despite wearing a helmet of black titanium backed with carbon nano-fibers. As they fell over two of the others got up, and resumed the tough duelings. Rick climbed up a drain pipe onto a building, puffing on his marijuana he'd been smoking during lunch and waiting for a good chance. With one down the fighting went faster, Tobin using good planning and her Baguazhong circle walk to team up with Alex on one motorcycle person, then move out with swivelings so the others collided with them. With fierce hand clawings afters a graceful and athletic leap Alex put down another of the motorcycle people, and using the Tai Chi move Leaning in on a Horse to Talk, Tobin knocked the female-looking black motorcycle fighter into the one facing Alex, pushing them back. Rick jumped down from the building, the embers of his mighty spliff trailing behind him and spelling out "You gon' die, bitch" as he gave an elbow drop to the fallen black motorcycle fighters. It made a crater in the street! "Come with me!" Said Rick, hurrying out of the alley. Tobin and Alex followed with runnings, and Rick stopped at a parked Mclaren p1. He pulled a NES controller out of his pocket and put in the Contra Code, and the doors opened.

"What? How did you just do that?" Alex asked.

"The Rick Steves you know is a lie, Alex. I'll tell you the rest when you're ready." Having hotwired the car Rick put it into drive and sped away. After driving out onto the highway, Rick said, "A friend in a nearby village has a private aircraft I think we should be able to borrow. It's probably too risky to fly a normal airline and risk a shoulder-tap or hostage situation."

"Do you have any idea of who those people were?" Tobin asked, her hair blowing around in the wind.

"I don't know their identities, but I did recognize their fighting style and people knowledgeable in that style are in most cases enemies of the Vatican. It's limited to a very few number of schools, and cultivated from a range of techniques and styles practiced along the Silk Road. The current standard of form was defined in the Himalayas, and once it emerged as a premier fighting style in the underground leagues several heads of state around the Himalayas and along the Silk Road were tutored in it..."

Tobin could see where Rick was headed with his story. "So the Kims have been trained in the style, right? And probably Rodman, too?"

Rick nodded, and Alex added, "They probably heard that conversation with the Pope. He mentioned the room was bugged." Rick made a frowny face at hearing this, but said nothing and kept driving. The countryside had a quiet simpleness to it, and Tobin had many worried thinkings of the second True Ballon d'Or. Alex had some of these thinkings too, but was enjoying the fast car and wondered what Rick's friend could do to help them. She turned to Tobin and leaned in to ask with whisperings, "Tobin... what do you know about the second True Ballon d'Or?"

"...There were seven marks on it, almost like keyholes, and that's it. I... I couldn't feel anything when I touched it, not like with the first. I don't know Alex. I really don't know what it's for..." Pompeii by Bastille came on the radio, and the ride kept going with silences for a while as Rick replayed the song a number of times that made Alex and Tobin question his orientation. At last they passed a road sign, and not long after Rick turned down the exit onto a meek country road. It went around and up a nice hill of grains growing, and came to a dusty street that had only one house with a barn behind it.

"We're here," Rick said as he parked the Mclaren p1. "Just so you know, there's a deflation field set up around the barn. He likes to make sure everyone that visits is on a level playing field." Tobin and Alex traded discreet uh-oh glances before getting out and following Rick. Close to the barn they felt a bit tired, as people used to using P.S.I. normally do when low on it. Rick knocked in the rhythm of The Macarena, and after some tool rearranging sounds, the barn door swung in.

"Rick! I haven't seen you since Malawi..." Rick and his friend shared a manly greeting hug, and walked into the barn. They stopped by a table that had charts and tools and machine parts on it. "So what brings you by here? I probably use this safehouse the least out of the seventy."

"Miss Heath and Miss Morgan here were in the area, and needed somewhere to keep their heads down for a little bit. Also, the vault."

"The vault, the one in...?" Rick nodded, and his friend looked over at Tobin. "Miss Heath, of course... oh my... give me a second..." The Dubious Mechanic looked over his table, and then up at Rick. "Do you remember where I told you it was?"

"Most likely it's with the others, in your pocket."

"Ah. Right." Pulling out a ring of a few keys on it, The Dubious Mechanic found a very plain looking one and worked it off the ring. "I've never flown it before," He said nervously. Tobin could see the signs of a veteran about him, signs that did not say the same things as forgetting keys on a ring in your pocket, and was almost scared. "So there's the key for your ride. Anything else you guys need? Anything at all."

"Could we see this little plane of yours?" Alex asked. The Dubious Mechanic smiled, and Alex felt like cold knives tickled her skin. Picking up the work table and putting it at the edge of the barn, he called "Release the Kraken!" and the barn floor began to slide apart, with many machine whirrings from below. Alex could see a large shape rising up, one that didn't look like a normal plane. It was more in a egg shape than an arrow kind of one, and then when it stopped rising Alex realized what it was shaped like. "...So which one of us is Chewie?" The Dubious Mechanic and the others chuckled, and he led them around the plane. Alex caught stuff like "hypostatic fission matrix" and "Planck degree variable reversal" as he explained how it worked. With his glasses on the table Alex could see an old man's pain in the corners of his eyes, and heard a child's Christmas happiness in his voice as he talked of the plane. He looked of a young grown age, but had a scruffy beard instead of something more fashionable.

"...So in plain English, be careful with the acceleration because this thing can go really, really fast. I think that covers everything." The Dubious Mechanic looked to Rick, who looked to Tobin and Alex.

"How soon are you ladies ready to go?"

"Any time, Mr. Steves." Said Tobin. The Dubious Mechanic tossed the key to her, and Tobin pressed the ramp button on it. It opened up just like the one in the movies, and she walked in with Rick. Alex was about to go in after them when The Dubious Mechanic stopped her.

"Choose love, always." He whispered in her ear before jogging back to his work table. He pressed a button on it and the roof opened up, and Alex hurried in onto the ship. For a moment she had wonderings of why The Dubious Mechanic would say such words to her; she thought she chose love plenty of times; but then she was in the ship and the ramp was closing up behind her. She had small surprisings, as the inside wasn't future-looking- it was like the nice inside of a car, but with room to walk around; and there were still sticky notes labeling the controls.

"Did you guys catch how to fly this thing? I wasn't really listening."

"There's an up and down stick, and one for the horizontal directions," Said Tobin, with looking around the pilot seat. "And there's the accelerator and brake. Doesn't look too complicated for something this advanced."

Rick nodded with agreeings. "Set the limiter to about Mach three and spiral us out of here. I'll set the route to the bunker while you're doing that." Tobin nodded and saw the limiter sticky note, and that it was on a graph slider. She slid it up to the one row and the three column, and put the key in the ignition. The ship started up with a hum, and being very careful with the up stick and accelerator, Tobin exited the barn. The ship went really fast, but with that tiny bit of flying Tobin had an idea of the controls and slowly did test spirals. Rick was pushing buttons on the GPS, and in a moment it beeped with finishings. "Alright, got the route set. Just follow the path on the H.U.D."

It was scary flying in a test kind of plane for a few minutes, but then Tobin got the hang of it and it was a lot like a normal flight. "...Wait, I just realized. Won't us flying this be all over the news?" Alex asked.

"Of course," Answered Rick. "But who will actually believe there's a real Millenium Falcon flying around?"

"They'll probably say it was just photoshopped into the picture," Tobin added. "What I'm more worried about is having a place to land it."

"There's a bunker a couple hours outside of Helsinki." Said Rick with answerings. "We'll drive into the city and take a cab to the hotel." Tobin and Alex became relieved, and Tobin focused on flying. It was nervous and fun at the same time; it reminisced her of driving a stick shift car. There were red glowings on the windshield to tell the direction, and after a few minutes Rick turned on the radio. Bastille's song Pompeii came on the mix, but Alex changed it quickly and Returns A King from the 300 soundtrack started. Feeling more confident of her flyings now, Tobin upped the speed almost to the top, maneuvering the ship with good timings. It soon became like a normal ride, and in a bit less than two hours they got close to the bunker...

~oOo~

The water was hot, giving steaminess to the shower. After the tough fight with the black motorcycle people the the flight to Finland, Alex noticed her shoulder was sore; she tested it out, and couldn't reach to scrub her back without hurtings. She looked out from the bathroom, and saw Tobin reading on her laptop. "Hey, Tobs, could you do me a favor? My shoulder got hurt in that fight in Rome and I can't scrub my back..."

"Yeah, hold up a minute and let me get my stuff ready." Tobin closed the laptop and looked for her things, and soon joined Alex. The steam rose up and obscured them, and it was a normal locker room type shower. "Which shoulder is it?"

"My left," Answered Alex. Tobin lathered it up, using the nice-smelling soap the inn had, which had scents of roses and honey, not with really strong smellings like bad soap but with depths. With the crowdedness of a two person shower they switched places, Alex doing the same washings for Tobin. They swapped again, just using one loofa. Tobin's eye glowed red, and for a moment scrubbed Alex's shoulder with feelings instead of just touchings. Alex froze for a second, and then looked over her shoulder, but Tobin's eye was back to normal and Alex never saw any glowings in it. The shower continued with its normal crowded boringness, and Alex wondered about the moment because she knew how Tobin was. But then they got dressed in the clothes Rick had rented, nice dresses that were close enough to their normal styles. The Royal Ice Tour show was soon, and they were headed over.

"It's not to get at Kim and Rodman directly," Rick said as they were driving in the car, which was a green Aston-Martin One-77. "It's to set up an I know you know kind of situation, except that by the time they know we know we'll know what they know and they won't know that we know what they don't want us to know." Tobin nodded, understanding Rick easily. "I got the name of the hotel while you two were getting ready. With you two being who you are I'm sure I could get you into a party inside, and from there you'll get to their room and the luggage."

"Do you know their room number?" Asked Alex.

"Oh, the room number is four thirty-two B." Tobin had more prepared and ready noddings, and she took in the sights of Helsinki from the car. She could see something in Alex's thinkings, not the focused kind but a distracted one. She wanted to ask but didn't know if Alex would want to talk about it with Rick in the car, so she enjoyed the radio which was all heavy metal with no chance of Pompeii coming on. As James Hetfield's table part of the song faded they came to the arena and the parking lot was mostly full of tanks and fancy sports cars, but there were a few normal cars there, too. A couple people recognized them and waved as they shuffled through the lines and security, and as Rick handed their tickets to the ticket taker girl, Alex started to change her thinkings and be happy for the ice skating. There were many people on the way to their seats, and Rick got them good ones. Some nice before show music played, and then the lights dimmed.

A song from Les Miserables played, and in the spotlights Prince William and Princess Kate appeared! Their dance was more a normal kind, but they did a few poses together as they glided over the ice, very regal things that were like proud statues. They finished with a spin, leaning back but then closer and closer as they went faster, until they stopped with the music and were in a dramatic hug pose. There were many clappings for the nice dance, and a few people tossed down roses. "That wasn't too bad," Alex said. She had not been expecting the nice skatings, with most president and king people not being athletes.

"Yeah, I like that spin they did at the end," Tobin added. Then a folksy kind of tune came on, and a bunch of European people in traditional type clothings came out, doing a lively choreography with many shapes and swirling around the rink. With some complicated place switching they made the shape of an ice skater spinning, and then ending in a pose shape. The crowd really liked this dance, and had a very loud cheer for the dancers.

Then the lights dimmed, and Pompeii by Bastille started playing. The spotlight came on, and it was Adelina Sotnikova in a pose facing down, and she soon began skating. She was very fast, with elegant turnings into spins, and high athletic pose jumps. She even did a quad jump! As Pompeii began to end and slow down Adelina did too, with supple bendings and twists until she ended in her beginning pose. There were very loud cheerings, and on the big screen they were tweets, one from Chuck Norris said "Why didn't she do that at the Olympics?", but everyone was cheering and waving and not looking at it. They played another folksy tune as people cleared the flowers and teddy bears and jewelry off the ice. "Who do you think is next?" Alex asked.

"Probably someone local. Didn't Rick say this was an E.U. and N.A.T.O. thing?"

"Yeah." There was some quiet filler type orchestra music, and then the lights dimmed again. Then the spotlight came on, and it was Dennis Rodman, wearing a tight black outfit with a frilly v-neck. Kim Jong-Un was wearing his normal outfit, but with good trimmings. Nessun Dorma began, and they started bending and slowly skating curvy lines. Dennis twirled Kim around and tossed him up for a triple Lutz. Kim landed in a holding out his hand pose, and Dennis took it and they spun around together, holding their arms up. Dennis spun Kim up with a whippy toss, and Kim did a triple toe loop! As Dennis skated by Kim picked him and held him in his arms facing out. They did more curvy lines with bending twists around each other, and then the music began to climax, Dennis threw Kim up for a big jump, a quintuple Salchow! When Kim landed they did a quadruple toe loop in unison like two tops, and then Kim did a triple Lutz in the opposite direction, Dennis catching him in the wheelbarrow position, and they sailed gracefully across the ice as Pavarotti held the epic last note.

Tobin felt her eyes begin to tear up, but then remembered there was job to do, and tapped Rick on the shoulder.

"Ah, yes. Well, the word's gotten out about you two, and all the people I talked to sound excited at the prospect of you two attending theirs. However, one of them is going on right now on the same floor. If you two could perhaps bring a change of clothes in your bags and slip over there on a bathroom break from the party, I'll draw up an exit route while you're busy."

"Like out from the window, right?" Alex asked. Rick nodded, and Tobin and Alex shared a glance. "We'll go ahead and slip over there now." The crowd was still clapping for Rodman and Kim, and no one noticed them leaving quietly...

~oOo~

The party was kind of wild; many people had drinkings. Alex saw a midget do the Charleston, which she didn't think anyone would do even if sober. But she knew he was a good dancer; she'd seen him earlier in the party. She briefly glimpsed someone who looked a lot like George Clooney bumping and grinding with a doorknob before she turned back to her beer pong game. "Your serve!" Alex smiled, as her opponent, Stephen Colbert, was having trouble aiming.

"I see that grin! But up until now I've been hiding the truthiness of my technique! Prepare to go down!"

"But I'm up five to-"

"Silence! I keel you!" Stephen vehemently croaked out. He then began to seem as if he was in slow motion, and Alex got chills as she realized what she was seeing. Stephen did a back flip as he tossed the ball into the air, and as he was landing whipped his head and hit the ball with his ear, aiming his shot perfectly and bouncing the ball off of Alex's stunned forehead and into one of her cups. Having seen Colbert perform the Bohemian Ear Spoon, she drank the cup empty with humbled defeatedness. She then started drinking her others, for if Stephen could pull off the holy grail of beer pong trick shots she had no chance of winning. The other party people had seen this, and lifted Mr. Colbert onto their shoulders as they cheered. Off in the corner she saw Tobin had started a frumpping line, the dance catching on quickly. Before Stephen joined in at the front she caught Tobin's eye with noddings, and headed out to the "bathroom". The room Rick had mentioned was right down the hall, and spectacularly unguarded. Alex waited around a few doors down as if looking for a friend, and in a couple minutes Tobin joined her.

"Ready?" Alex nodded, and they tried the door; it was unlocked. The room inside wasn't too fancy, with the normal furnishings of the rest of the hotel, but there were very secret-looking travel bags. They stepped over and unzipped the bags, looking past the skating and regular clothes. Alex soon found a wrapped package she could feel was a book, and with peekings under the brown paper she could see it was an worn copy of Shocking Swerve! A moment later Tobin found what she thought was a basketball, but she unwrapped it part of the way and saw the second True Ballon d'Or! Tobin and Alex changed their heels for their sneakers they brought in their bags, and swapped their dresses for the sporty shorts and t-shirts underneath.

"Rick said outside the window, right?"

"Yeah, he'll probably have a car waiting. Let's go!" Zipping up the suitcases, Tobin then opened the window and looked down. "That's Rick's car right below us!" Alex went out first, using her new trainings of flight to hover down; Tobin was right behind her and shut the window before floating down to the car.

~oOo~

“-Yes, we'll be on our way to Bielefeld very soon.” Rick hung up on his Pear Phone 3, and turned back to Tobin and Alex.

“So where's Bielefeld?” Alex asked.

“Exactly,” Answered Steve. “I'll have the route uploaded to the ship in just a moment, so don't worry about us getting lost on the way. You ready to fly, Tobin?”

“Heck yeah!” Tobin pushed the button on the key fob, and the ramp came down for them to go in. Tobin liked to fly the ship almost as much as she liked flying using her P.S.I.

“Then as the Indonesian midwives say, let's get this show on the road!” They all jogged up the ramp and got buckled in, and Tobin got the engine started, letting it warm up for a second as the warehouse roof opened. It was nighttime, with many stars out, like a velvety blanket with the bloods of the universe leaking through. With beepings Rick got the flight path up on the display, and Tobin took off. It was an almost straight path, and after they settled into their flyings Alex turned on the radio, and Kensuke Sasaki's theme music came on.

Tapping her foot along with the beat, Alex asked, “What do you think Rodman and Kim will do once they find out? You'd think that if there's a short list of people who would know they looted the vault in the Vatican, they'd have an equally short list of people who'd know they did.”

“And I think we're already on that list,” Said Tobin as she looked over at Alex.

“Which is why we need to get to Bielefeld pronto. The bunker there is underground and much harder to trace,” Rick said. Alex and Tobin nodded and the ride continued with focused silences, except to sing along with the Rebecca Black and Wiz Khalifa song when it came on.

A while after it was over Tobin was humming the chorus tune, when she noticed something on one of the screens. “What's this second dot...” She said to herself. The sticky note on the screen had a science-y name, and her fingers brushed the screen as she moved it off. A box popped up in the lower right, and there was a night-vision picture of a ship! “We've got someone on our tail!”

“It can't be them already, can it?” Alex wondered with a bit of fearfulness.

“We're getting a signal on the com link!” Rick twisted a few knobs on the dashboard, and suddenly they could hear a voice in the ship.

“Surrender the True Ballon d'Or!”

“I don't think so!” Tobin said.

“You must! That ball will be the redemption of my people and the honor of my eternal reign!” Said Kim Jong Un, sounding like he was holding his fist in the air.

“And Shocking Swerve will start a new era of power, that we will lead!” Said Dennis Rodman, sounding like he had a villain's arm foldings.

“You mean an era of tyranny,” Said Tobin. “I don't think you fooled anyone with the nuclear talks eith-”

“NO!” Interrupted Kim. “An era of power, and servitude! Tyranny is only a lie created by the ungrateful weaklings who lack obedience! We will be the true holy one and prophet, bringing light to the world!”

“DON'T CLAIM TO SEE THE LIGHT WHEN YOU'RE BLIND!” Yelled Tobin. There was a change in the readout on one of the screens, and the word “arming” flashed in red.

“Tobin,” Alex said nervously. Suddenly the ship slowed down, and Rick looked over the screens.

“They've got us with a magnetic grappling beam!”

“Rick, take the controls! I'm heading out!” Tobin got unbuckled, and pressed a button on the ceiling to open up the roof.

“Tobin, no!” Alex got unbuckled too, and followed Tobin up onto the top of the ship. The metal reflected the moon and starlight, and it was almost bright. Then with surprisings, the top of Kim Jong Un's ship opened up and someone came out!

“I see that it must come to this!” Kim said, with anime posings. “But I have the will to power, and with power I will kill!”

“You wouldn't be the first tyrant we've stopped!” Said Tobin, her hair blowing out of its ponytail with windiness. She walked forwards, and pointed at Kim. “You want to know what tyranny is? It's a dream world created by those who are too cowardly to rule with love! You can rule a planet of ashes in peace, or a beautiful gem with all the pain and joy fighting for love brings! Your choice!”

“I WILL BE THE GOD OF ALL DREAMERS AND JEWELS! NOW JOIN THE ASHES OF THE LESSER MEN WHO HAVE FALLEN BEFORE ME!” A large firing device rose up next to Kim Jong Un, and seeing this Tobin blew up her P.S.I. as high as she could, until she began to shimmer with gold. Inside the ship, Dennis Rodman began to fire the gatling atomic bomb launcher. The explosions were too big to see what was being hit, so he kept firing. Still there were a profusion of epic explosions, so Dennis roared and upped the firing rate to its limit, five hundred sixty-four rounds a minute! Tobin hovered inbetween the ships, exploding the bombs with tough and powerful punches, using her P.S.I. to protect her fists. After minutes of punching and swimming through hurricanes of explosions, the last bomb was punched apart, and Tobin was still alive! “In what dream is this possible? How can this be?!”

“Tobin!” It was Rick coming up, holding the True Ballon d'Or. It was glowing, with light shining from the keyhole marks. Tobin could feel a hungry ominousness coming from it, and realized what the second True Ballon d'Or was for.

“Rick! Get it back in the ship!” But while Tobin had been looking over at Rick, Dennis Rodman had snuck out and was closing in! He dove for it, and began an intense duel with Rick to capture it.

Kim Jong Un leapt over, and began to attack Tobin. He had the same style the the black motorcycle fighters used, and was very nimble. It was a hard style to counter, with sharp attackings coming from blocks. Tobin could see Kim was good, better than the motorcycle people. Kim used his footwork to force Tobin to the edge, and they had a collar and elbow tie up as Kim tried to push her over. Tobin flew up and flipped over Kim, and he turned to face her. Their duel resumed, but suddenly Kim leapt sideways to defend against a flying kick from Alex! Even with both of them it was very tough, Kim had very good footwork. Using a majestic front kick and clawing swipe combination Alex drove him back, with Tobin darting around to try and sweep his legs from under him- but Kim backflipped over the sweep! Tobin wasted no time trying to speed up her whirling and flowing strikes, but she found Kim had no wasted motion in his blocks, using his speed to dodge Alex's strikings.

Using a flying kick again, Alex then used a sneaky kick with her bottom leg. It was the first breakthrough of the duel, and Tobin did her fastest footwork to try to turn Kim's back to Alex. It worked, but he side stepped when he realized this. Alex was waiting for this, and grabbed his shoulder to spin him around. Tobin closed in quickly and grabbed his arm, spinning as she stepped forwards, throwing Kim in the air! As he spinumbled away Alex leapt up and hit with a fierce knee strike!

But Kim didn't fly off away from the ship! He grimaced as of having ate a five-year-old's first try of cooking, but gave a battle yell and formed a ball, a dark aura surrounding it. As he kept his yell he threw the ball down, at the same time as Tobin let the fury of battle carry her P.S.I. up to her limit. She jumped and Kim's dark P.S.I. ball connected she threw forwards her attack. “Triple Nail Punch!” Kim looked surprised as it hit, his limbs flapping out into the spread eagle position as the punch's energy left his body with bloodiness.

“H-how...” Kim wondered with a villain's defeatedness as he clutched his side. “My Puncture Ball should have...” But as he saw Tobin kneeling down holding her side, he smiled and gave a chuckle.

“Aahh!” Alex looked over and saw Rick fall down, the True Ballon d'Or rolling away.

Dennis Rodman swayed as he took a stumbly step back, wiping something off his face. “That all you got, Steves? After all the stories I've heard, I was expecting something more.”

Rick coughed, and sat up. “Well, as the Amish say after a premature orgasm, I'm just getting started!” Rick leapt up and began to duel Dennis again, but as Dennis took a step back, Alex threw a Cosby Special at his feet! The soccer ball explodiated with pudding, and Dennis slipped on it and fell. Rick stepped over, with his fist ready for punchings.

“Don't think you're saving the world!” Rodman said. “Stopping us here will be condemning the world to a slow death it won't be able to escape!” Something caught Tobin's eye as Dennis said this- it was the True Ballon d'Or, rolling off the ship! She sprang away off of Kim Jong Un's ship, diving to catch it. She just barely got it with the tips of her fingers, but was having trouble flying- her P.S.I. was leaking out!

“Alex!” Tobin looked back up to the ship, as as she did so a red light drifted into her eye. Alex did her best dive and caught Tobin, and tried her hardest to use her flying trainings to go back up. Squeezing Tobin tight and closing her eyes, she didn't feel as of falling, and then her feet touched down on something! It was the ship!

“You'll regret this!” Dennis said, before closing the hatch on his and Kim's ship. Alex and Tobin hurried to get back in, tired from the tough fightings. They all got buckled in, and after a ominous kind of silence they started flying again.

“Where do we go now?” Alex asked.

“We're too close to Germany; I'm gonna take us to Iceland instead,” Rick answered. The radio was still going, and no one bothered to change it when Pompeii came on as they flew away...

~oOo~

Tobin was sitting on the edge of the bed in the hotel room looking at the True Ballon d'Or when Alex came in. “How are you holding up?”

“I'm just tired. I can't build up any P.S.I., that attack of Kim Jong Un's opened up a hole.”

“Well, I'll patch it up.”

“Huh?”

“It's something Christie taught me a while ago, how you can use your P.S.I. to stop a leak. But it's normally from the inflation point, though.”

“Oh, well, I got hit in my ribs. Do you think it would still work?”

“Can't hurt to try.” Tobin nodded, and Alex sat down on the bed next to her. She put her hand on Tobin's side, and focused her P.S.I. on finding the hole. “...I can't find the leak from here.” Tobin shifted so Alex could work from the inflation point, the belly button. Alex focused on it with a doctor's touch, and now could see where the leak was; it was at about the same place she had started.

Tobin's eyes began to glow red, and there was a villain's cunning in the corners of her eyes. “Here, I'll just take my shirt off so it's a little easier.” Alex nodded, her eyes closed with concentratings. Now focusing on patching the hole, Alex strengthened Tobin's P.S.I. with her own, and swiped her hand quickly over where the leak was.

“I think that did it,” Alex said with accomplished happiness. But then Tobin slid her hands over Alex's, keeping them in place. “Um, Tobin... I'm not-” But as she looked up, she saw Tobin's eyes glowing red. “What?!”

“This was meant to be, Alex. Just let it happen.” But with great shockings Alex now realized why Tobin's voice sounded a little different- her eyes were the same one as Lionel Messi's were before he drifted away and crumbled to dust! Tobin spoke again, her voice low as if trying to sound like a dude: “Don't you see? You can never run from me, Alex. I will always be looking for you.” Lionel tried to move Alex's hands, but she yanked them away.

“No! I will never be yours, you hear me?! Never!”

“Is that because of how I look now? If you close your eyes, it could almost feel like nothing's changed at all...” Lionel brushed a hair out of Alex's face and leaned in, but Alex slapped him! Just before her palm hit Tobin, the red lights went away from her eyes. “A- Alex, what was that?! What did I do?”

“What did you do? You know...” But Alex could see how Tobin's eyes were now, and was confused. “Tobin...?”

“Yes?”

“I, I just don't know...” Alex held her head in her hands, and sighed.

“What is it?” Tobin asked with concernings.

“Your eyes, they... they were glowing, and you started acting different...”

Tobin thought of this for a moment. “That's what happened back at the Vatican, wasn't it? Last night, another light flew into my eye, and I can't remember taking my shirt off just now.”

“Well, you should put it back on. The meeting's going to happen pretty soon.” Tobin nodded and got dressed, and they went with Rick out to an old pub on the edge of town. It looked weathered and had a closed sign on the door, but they went in anyways. Inside, the place was running and there were some people at a table in the back.

“Rick's here!” Said The Dubious Mechanic. Pope Francis was there too, and he stood and pulled out chairs for Tobin and Alex. As they got seated, The Dubious Mechanic asked, “So, what happened over Germany?”

“We ran into Rodman and Kim, but they didn't seem very happy to see us,” Said Tobin.

“We got into a fight over the True Ballon d'Or,” Alex continued with explainings. “At first they tried to bomb us out of the sky and then they came out to fight us hand to hand.”

“Miss Morgan, did they say what they planned to use Shocking Swerve and the True Ballon d'Or for?” Asked the pope.

“Basically just to rule the world. They said they wanted to start a new era of power, or something like that.”

“And Kim said the True Ballon d'Or would be the redemption of his people,” Tobin added. The Dubious Mechanic shared a look with the pope, and Rick cleared his throat.

“Also, something that should be noted is that the True Ballon d'Or unlocked.”

“It is possible to use it now?” Pope Francis asked. Tobin nodded and the others at the table looked to her, but she stared quietly at the table.

“It needs to be hidden,” Tobin said. “Somewhere cold.”

“Cold?” The pope asked.

“I was thinking about it earlier today, and it didn't open up until Rodman and Kim tried to bomb our ship, despite me trying to unlock it with my P.S.I. I think it only awakens with fire.”

The Dubious Mechanic looked at Tobin with a gentle concern. “Does it... _need_ to be used?”

“...About as much as the first one did.” Pope Francis sighed.

“The Arctics are too conspicuous, and this island is too geographically unstable,” The pope said. “We'll take it to Greenland. Is that agreeable with everyone?” There was a murmuring of yeses.

“You've got a safehouse outside of Daneborg, don't you?”

“I do,” The Dubious Mechanic answered Rick, “But I don't have don't have anything underground; I'll have to build something.”

“That will be taken care of,” The pope said with noddings. “Though if you do not mind, I would like the land to be purchased by the church in case you are not there or you pass away.”

“No not at all, go ahead.”

It was quiet for a moment, but then Tobin spoke up. “Lionel Messi, he... his eyes are in me, but I don't know how that could happen...”

“Perhaps an extreme form of deflation; if his body was weakened enough he would be able to shrink down to a point, or two points,” Theorized The Dubious Mechanic.

“But how could we get him out?” Alex asked.

“If he entered in by means of P.S.I., then that may be the only way to force him out.” Pope Francis said, gesturing with his hand. “Though, bonds of P.S.I. are not easily broken. There are few forces that can do so.”

Tobin gulped, then looked up and around the table. “But I can't use it. It's not time yet!”

“Gold is tried in fire, Tobin. Have faith that He will carry you through.” Tobin agreed with Pope Francis, but was still nervous.

“Will you help me, Alex?”

Alex looked into her friend's eyes, and nodded. “I'll do whatever it takes.” For a little while after that Rick and The Dubious Mechanic and the pope talked of who should hear what, and who should be hearing anything, and about the protections for the True Ballon d'Or. Alex looked over and squeezed Tobin's hand, and gave a smile with reassurings.

~oOo~

It was a nice sunny day with a few clouds and a breeze, and the world was very close to being annihilated. Alex gazed out over the side of the cliff for a second, and then back in front of her to Tobin. “Are you ready?” Tobin nodded, and hugged Alex around her neck, leaning over so their foreheads touched. Alex felt like she could hear Tobin's heart beating, and after a moment hugged Tobin back. She thought of being all the way out in Iceland in the middle of nowhere, and how dangerous the plan was. After a few moments Tobin's arms moved down to her waist, and her eyes glowed red.

“You picked a beautiful place to become mine,” Lionel said.

“No,” Alex said, trying to see Messi's face over Tobin's in her mind, “This is the place where you come to an end. No more trying to break into Heaven, or trying to become a god. It ends here.”

“But there's no one around for miles, Alex. No one will see us, and everything you've ever dreamed of could be possible- just open your heart to me, and-”

“No, it's what I do here when no one's around that matters! You sell your soul to the devil in private, and you've sold your soul no matter where you go! This is just you, and me. The end.”

“Then do it,” Lionel said with a smile, getting down on his knees and holding his arms out wide. “Kill me, Alex! STRIKE ME DOWN!” But Alex could only see Tobin in front of her at that moment, and that was when Lionel dove for the True Ballon d'Or. Alex was able to kick it away, and dribble past Lionel. He soon caught up and tried to sneak it away from Alex, but she tipped it back with her heel and spun around. It was a struggle like a bullfight in a china shop, with Alex and Lionel trying to trip each other and push each other over as they twisted around and dribbled between each other's legs. Lionel kicked the True Ballon d'Or up and tried to flip it away from Alex, but she elbowed him in the ribs and caught the ball with her foot, then kicking it up over their heads when Lionel tried to smack it away. It seemed to move in slow motion, and Lionel sneered. “THEN SO BE IT! If you want to be the last stumbling block in my way then I will obliterate you!” Alex was still worried a bit about the True Ballon d'Or, and as she watched it out of the corner of her eye Lionel sucker punched her. He blew up his P.S.I. really high, so much Alex could feel it, and looked right into her eyes. “Triple Nail Punch!” Alex felt the three blows though she only saw one, blows so powerful they caused a magnitude five point seven earthquake and made loud thunders that could be heard miles away.

Alex closed her eyes and sobbed, and fell onto her back. As she looked up at Lionel, the True Ballon d'Or fell just a bit away from her hand! She scooped it up, and could feel the great power within it, a burning feel that Alex recognized- one of heart breakings. She understood how to use it, and as Lionel dove for it stood up and touched his heart, putting the power of the True Ballon d'Or into it. He gasped, and as he fell down Alex could see the angry red lights fade from his eyes before they closed. Alex looked down at the ball, and saw it was still glowing. She dropped it and sat down beside Tobin, crying and holding her friend in her arms. She was in great hurtings from the Triple Nail Punch, but did not notice them as she looked at Tobin. “Wake up, please...” Far away Alex could hear the sound of a helicopter, and she closed her eyes.

~oOo~

“...And she hasn't woken up since,” Alex explained.

“Well as the song says, no taste of death comes painlessly,” Pope Francis quoted with a sigh. “But keep her in mind; the love and prayers of a friend are powerful.”

“But, there has to be something, right?” Alex looked from the pope to Rick, and her friends and teammates around the room.

“Honestly, it's a miracle either of you survived the fight,” Rick said. “We should just give it some time-”

“No, there should be something we can do!”

Rick sighed. “Well, as the Mormons say after farting in public, may love wash away my wrongs. We can still love her whether she's in the coma or not, Alex.” The pope started a group hug, and Alex started to cry a little bit. A little bit after that Pope Francis and Rick left, and it was just Alex and some of the team in Tobin's hospital room.

“Maybe this is like the time in Nazca...” Said Kelley O'Hara. “Maybe she just needs a day.”

“No, this is different. This second True Ballon d'Or isn't for healing, or restoring anything- it's for annihilation. And,” Alex gulped, “I know that Messi's gone, but I'm not sure if there's anything left of Tobin...”

Rachel van Hollebeke looked at Alex, resting her chin in her hand. “How did you use the True Ballon d'Or? Maybe that could give you some clue as to what we could do.”

“I... connected with it. But, we need the opposite of what the True Ballon d'Or did, and the first isn't around anymore.” Rachel looked puzzled at this for a second, but then nodded with acceptances.

“Does anyone have a Phoenix Down?” Asked Meleana Shim.

“Or a Full Restore,” Added Lauren Holiday.

“Full Restores are a waste of money, Hyper Potions are the way to go. Uh, I mean, that's what I'd say if I played the game. Which I don't.” Alex looked around at the team, and saw many “I'm not buying that” looks. Alex gave up when a deck was brought out, and trades were made and written out. Though, Alex was fine with her team and wouldn't trade them for anything. They spent a fun time discussing battle strategies and move sets, but it was getting towards evening, and the rest of the team went out to eliminate their tummy rumblings. Alex stayed behind, sitting in the bedside chair. Tobin's breathing was slow and steady, like the rise and fall of an empire. Then, Alex realized what the True Ballon d'Or was really about. She stood up and looked down at Tobin, remembering the words of The Dubious Mechanic, and chose love. It was needy and sad and angry and kinda short, and did not feel like a fairy tale. But then, as Alex leaned back, Tobin opened her eyes!

“Breath mint...” Alex started to cry again, but also smiled and laughed and hugged Tobin, which did feel like the ending of a happy fairy tale. 

THE END


End file.
